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Jan 01 2012


Reflections

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I started this day thinking about what a crappy year this has been.  I am ending it thinking how incredibly lucky I am.

No doubt, this year has brought its share of trials and heartache.  In March we moved, leaving behind my great job and some wonderful friends.  It was an incredible career opportunity for my husband but a trying move nonetheless.  It is hard to leave everything you know and move to a place that you know absolutely nothing about and where you know no one.  Then, in February my brother-in-law was diagnosed with cancer and, after a valiant fight, passed away in September.  Zeus was diagnosed with cancer in November and well, you know the rest.  Cancer sucks.

This recovery has not been as easy as some I have read about.  Although, it has not been as hard as some of the others I read about.  When I see the stories of tripawds playing on the beach or mastering the stairs, I have to remind myself that Zeus is 11 years old and wasn’t doing those things before the surgery, either.  We lost Zeus’ brother, Merlin, two years ago to cancer.  It was swift and we never even got the chance to fight it.  Zeus’ face shows his age – lots of white.  We have been on pins and needles since Merlin’s death, acutely aware of Zeus’ mortality, as we know he is “mature”.  Now our fears are coming true and he is fighting for his life.  Yesterday I thought I heard him cough, which devastated me.  In fairness, he was laying with his head upside down demanding chin rubs which always makes him sneeze.  That’s probably what I heard, but you know the worry.

At diagnosis in November, we were almost convinced that we should let him go because of that suspicious spot that showed on the CT scan of his lungs.  But instead we decided to fight.  I am still terrified of every unusual sound he makes.  I am still terrified when I see an odd gait and think he might have hurt one of the precious three legs he has left.  I’m still terrified when he doesn’t eat every morsel of food.

Then I thought about the two years we’ve had since Zeus’ brother earned his wings.  Two years.  We have had two whole years with Zeus for which we should be thankful.  And quite honestly, each extra day is just icing on the cake!  And, I have met all of you.  During the Christmas chat I found one member who comes here for work and promises to look me up for lunch.  During that same chat, I discovered another member who grew up in my hometown.  Funny what a small world it is!

Well, in our older age we have shunned New Years Eve parties for quiet nights celebrating at home.  Tonight Greg and I will spend the evening on the futon mattress on the family room floor in front of the TV.  Of course, Zeus will be right there in between!  That is what I have right now and that is what I will enjoy.

Happy New Year!

Zeus and Spirit Merlin

 

 


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One response so far




One Response to “Reflections”

  1.   etgayleon 01 Jan 2012 at 2:13 am     Reply1

    indeed…2011 has been a year of challenges. we lost both of our girls, but, as you say we know there was so much to be thankful for, as we now have our monkeydog sam. give that handsome boy, zeus, a big hug for us, and tell him he is a gift, to be treasured each and every moment. keep enjoying the moments!!

    charon & spirit gayle and spirit jane and sam

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